Just plagiarized that title from ‘love notes’ (which I think is a fresh approach to romantic dramas… after rolling my eyes all through ‘over her dead body'.) it’s not really a hobby- watching movies… especially lame ones to come up with some reviews…it puts food on the table.
Okay watching the movie btn music videos as well and one of my favourites just played, from the Fiction Family, ‘when she’s near,’ so had to pause the movie to watch it. Lovely video; black and white colour setting (l love sepia, black white and whatever else that isn’t colour unless it’s a worthy watch) anyway, with a nostalgic sense of the 60’s. Sounds something of a cross between the Beatles and the Zombies with the artists all in a sixties sorta dress, hairstyle…it makes me happy. I love antiques, old dusty gramophones and such.
Music…the noise without.
Lately it’s been work, work and more work. When I get home, drop dead tired, All I want is my food, the TV, music…and some alone- silence that I never let myself into
Somehow the silence is scary. I am not quite sure I want to know what’s going on within. IT SHOWS ON THE OUTside and I still don’t want to investigate… crying over soapy things even La Tormenta, not wanting company, freaked out stone cold by all the things I loved to watch…horrors and psycho thrillers… I keep the light on in my room or draw the curtains way back for some light from the church beyond my walls to spill its rays right into my room. Then I check the gate, double check the back door, check the rooms and go to bed, listening for a while to the sound without… I fall asleep before I can get to the noise within…
Yesterday, for thirty minutes, the lights went out in the neighborhood. I was dog tired but still stared at my PC , the phone, the TV flipped channels. I know I just need some noise for the sake of it…hiding. Then the lights out, I could not hide anymore. It has been hot, so hot these past days, so I dragged my chair out and slouched innit, sipping on a glass of ice cold sprite that’s been neglected in my fridge since the BBQ. It’s the only cold thing around, so…. And for the first time in three weeks, the noise within grew louder, became clearer. The cool breeze, crescent moon, the dust particles , it was perfect, except the lack of silence without… the noise within grew like a wave crushing on a shore…harder and faster with each thrust and the mud and sea weed that washed up and stayed, I knew I had to face. I could not hide from the pain, the unresolved hollow questions, anger… I tried not to cry. I hated to feel like this; so empty without my work and my noise without… I wanted out but the still small voice told me, I would be okay. But I knew the price… I am not ready to pay… I picked my phone scrolled through for someone to talk to, my sis on my mind…but its late, she’s tired…I tried through to others then sighed. I did not have airtime. Too lazy to grab any. Too glad to not to… then the lights came on again…and I sighed with relief as the TV and Laptop and radio came on… and once again, I was swallowed up by the noise without.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
now there is this one too, wait for the one on women!
For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking.
Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on:
Stupid Chivalry
By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her.
Stupid Independence
Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex.
Stupid Ambition
Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status.
Stupid Strength
Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control.
Stupid Sex
Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.
Stupid Matrimony
Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it."
Stupid Husbanding
Thinkingthat marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else.
Stupid Parenting
Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug.
Stupid Boyishness
Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.
Stupid Machismo
Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on:
Stupid Chivalry
By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her.
Stupid Independence
Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex.
Stupid Ambition
Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status.
Stupid Strength
Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control.
Stupid Sex
Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.
Stupid Matrimony
Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it."
Stupid Husbanding
Thinkingthat marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else.
Stupid Parenting
Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug.
Stupid Boyishness
Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.
Stupid Machismo
Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
one for the rain
ONE OF THOSE JOKES THAT MAKES YOUR BOTCH APPOINTMENTS, LUNCHDATES, ETC BEARABLE IN A HEAVY DOWN POUR...LIKE NOW
Bongani grew up in Johannesburg. He went to law school in London after his studies he decided to go back to Johannesburg, because he could be a big powerful man and he opened his new law office.
The first day, he saw a man coming up to his office and decided to make a big impression.
As the man came to the door, Bongani pretended to be on the phone and motioned the man to take a seat.
Bongani spoke into the phone: "No, Absolutely no. You tell those clowns in New York that am not travelling all the way that side to settle the case for less than a million bucks.
"Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear the case next week.
"I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.
"Okay. Give the State Prosecutor my regards and ..."
The visitor sat patiently as Bongani rattled instructions.
Finally, Bongani put down the telephone and said: "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"
The man said: "I'm from Telkom... I've come to connect your phone."
Bongani grew up in Johannesburg. He went to law school in London after his studies he decided to go back to Johannesburg, because he could be a big powerful man and he opened his new law office.
The first day, he saw a man coming up to his office and decided to make a big impression.
As the man came to the door, Bongani pretended to be on the phone and motioned the man to take a seat.
Bongani spoke into the phone: "No, Absolutely no. You tell those clowns in New York that am not travelling all the way that side to settle the case for less than a million bucks.
"Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear the case next week.
"I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.
"Okay. Give the State Prosecutor my regards and ..."
The visitor sat patiently as Bongani rattled instructions.
Finally, Bongani put down the telephone and said: "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"
The man said: "I'm from Telkom... I've come to connect your phone."
Sunday, October 04, 2009
self-help
know thy self- Socrates
from the moment i could say 'MAMA' I havent been too proud to say i am abit dysfunctional and need alot of help like the rest of the world. i believe in counselling not just for traumatized rape victims but for everyday life and i esteem relationships of all sorts further higher up the life ladder than work itself because at the end of ones life, like Rick Warren says (or was it Dale Carnegie) you wont ask for your medals and degrees but for your close friends and loved ones...so my quest in life has been to seek out true love, true beauty, true people.... and they are few. we are so marred, so broken by the imperfect world we live in and we conform to the way that has become...distorted and forget there is a better way, a higher way to live and be and thus we gnash in abject mediocrity which i told myself i would not succumb to.(i am not ashamed to say i am still traditional and believe in sex after marriage, friendship for courtship,and waiting for as long as it takes for a man on the same page as I)
now the highest level of communication between humans lies in the intimate connection between a man and a woman and for a man or woman to live in insecurity of the mate they have chosen goes to show the rocky foundation their relationship is on and maybe in a few years will either straighten out depending on how much they are willing to work at it or...it will end speedily. now instead of wasting alot of time looking through rose coloured glasses hopping the man or woman you think you love will change, yet dealing with insecurity, pain, unnecesssary fights, how about squaring your shoulders hitting the high road and believing for better than this!(a bitter pill to swallow, believe me , i know) our greatest hinderance is fear. Fear that no one will want you, you are getting old, you prolly have kids, your esteem is so low coz of the continual lousy relationships that have disillusioned you to a point that crumbs are worth settling for, the fear of the pain of breaking up, the fear, the fear...its all in the fear and more... i am a self -help junkie and believe you me,all the books ive read, tests, ive done, therapy and counselling sessions and counsellors i have met,has paid off, i understand myself so intricately, i understand people and issues alot better than many people i find (who live on the hindsight of their issues or are just shallow, too macho, too self righteous),within thirty minutes of a converstaion, i can tell whats wrong with their relationship and how they can fix it. just last night i was reading this book i accidentally got from my sis
in the forward of this book, this Doc Laura Schlessingeris a licensed marriage and family therapist, the author of ten New York Times bestsellers, and a regular columnist for NewsMax, a number one female talk-show host and the third-most-listened-to talk-show host in America... talks about how today's 'insta-culture' has separated the beautiful intimate promise of sex to just something you do when you feel the 'rush' plus it not being only okay but necesarry to be sexually experimental including a number of techniques, partners and genders and that 'what women dont allow, men wont and cant do' and the wise advice from a listener to her radio show 'be sure before you say I do , know the man in ALL four seasons (in entirety).
she talks of traditional courtship and what it used to be. i like the way she says it " courtship is gone, "instant"-intimacy is in. 'hooking up' is the catch word of the day. that means having sex beofre you even know the person's middle name. hooking up and shacking up are not about being in love with ideals, goals,and promises historically inherent in such proximity. HOOKING UP AND SHACKING UP are about having but without true giving and when it stops giving, dont worry, just go some place else hook-up and shack up all over again and again and again. hook ups and shack ups have no depth, no promise, no attachment, no contentment, no meaning' they do not demonstrate assumed value of participants. the saddest calls comes from women and men who after years of shacking up(and maybe a baby or two) want to marry only to find that the other person enjoys this perpetual state of uncertainity. the most annoying calls come from men and women who after years of shacking up decide that this really isnt 'the one' and its time to move on"
she clearly defines courtship as a platform that provided an opportunity for men and women to develop a friendship, an understanding, a true knowledge of another. a time of flirtatiousness and chivalry it was also a time to discuss religion,work family,children,homes,philosophy and to see how respective familes could function together. courtship was about taking time to learn about another in depth to decide whether or not to become intimate."
now, this sure does take alot out of the pain when you decide to walk away, dont you think?
Better than having to deal with the pain of betrayal, feeling 'used' , consequences like abortion, unwanted kids,cheating, abuse in all its forms and etc after messing up
now these are the chapter lineups in the book.
1. Stupid Secrets
Withholding important information for fear of rejection
2. Stupid Egotism
Asking not what you can do for the relationship but only what the relationship can do for you
3. Stupid Pettiness
Making a big deal out of the small stuff
4. Stupid Power
Always trying to be in control
5. Stupid Priorities
Consuming all your time and energies with work, hobbies, errands, and chores instead of focusing on your relationship
6. Stupid Happiness
Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places to satisfy the immature need to feel good
7. Stupid Excuses
Not being accountable for bad behavior. learn to apologise!
8. Stupid Liaisons
Not letting go of negative attachments to friends and relatives who are damaging to your relationship
9. Stupid Mismatch
Seeing the red flags clearly and yet you stay around trying to put a square peg in a round hole. Not knowing when to leave and cut your losses
10. Stupid Breakups
Disconnection for all the wrong reasons
you know what relationships are hard work and alot of commitment,
let me give it to you hard and straight, so unless you are a whole individual (meaning complete in your ownself,knowing who you are not as defined by someone else or circumstance, independent, pursuing your own goals, free of past aches, pains and entanglements, sober, mature and not deperate to be loved, looked after and cared for) give relationships a big break.
dating and marriage should be less about infatuation, lust and its relatives but about the compatability you share... religion, morals,purpose mostly purpose.(when the goosebumps of passion wear out and your relationship was based on that..what next?) you should get married as single whole individuals, that is a healthy relationship ,not because you are looking for the other person to fill the emptiness or sort your dysfunctional life like some God, coz we can all do so much and we all have lives to live with or without a partner...so be Absolutely sure about your mate and if the red flags go up about someone, please dont hesitate. the good and bad news about breaking up is; good news, you are free to make a 'best' choice' a better match. bad news; the pain lasts for a while.
by the way it is possible...dont let this insta-culture decieve you it aint possible!
have a great week!
from the moment i could say 'MAMA' I havent been too proud to say i am abit dysfunctional and need alot of help like the rest of the world. i believe in counselling not just for traumatized rape victims but for everyday life and i esteem relationships of all sorts further higher up the life ladder than work itself because at the end of ones life, like Rick Warren says (or was it Dale Carnegie) you wont ask for your medals and degrees but for your close friends and loved ones...so my quest in life has been to seek out true love, true beauty, true people.... and they are few. we are so marred, so broken by the imperfect world we live in and we conform to the way that has become...distorted and forget there is a better way, a higher way to live and be and thus we gnash in abject mediocrity which i told myself i would not succumb to.(i am not ashamed to say i am still traditional and believe in sex after marriage, friendship for courtship,and waiting for as long as it takes for a man on the same page as I)
now the highest level of communication between humans lies in the intimate connection between a man and a woman and for a man or woman to live in insecurity of the mate they have chosen goes to show the rocky foundation their relationship is on and maybe in a few years will either straighten out depending on how much they are willing to work at it or...it will end speedily. now instead of wasting alot of time looking through rose coloured glasses hopping the man or woman you think you love will change, yet dealing with insecurity, pain, unnecesssary fights, how about squaring your shoulders hitting the high road and believing for better than this!(a bitter pill to swallow, believe me , i know) our greatest hinderance is fear. Fear that no one will want you, you are getting old, you prolly have kids, your esteem is so low coz of the continual lousy relationships that have disillusioned you to a point that crumbs are worth settling for, the fear of the pain of breaking up, the fear, the fear...its all in the fear and more... i am a self -help junkie and believe you me,all the books ive read, tests, ive done, therapy and counselling sessions and counsellors i have met,has paid off, i understand myself so intricately, i understand people and issues alot better than many people i find (who live on the hindsight of their issues or are just shallow, too macho, too self righteous),within thirty minutes of a converstaion, i can tell whats wrong with their relationship and how they can fix it. just last night i was reading this book i accidentally got from my sis
in the forward of this book, this Doc Laura Schlessingeris a licensed marriage and family therapist, the author of ten New York Times bestsellers, and a regular columnist for NewsMax, a number one female talk-show host and the third-most-listened-to talk-show host in America... talks about how today's 'insta-culture' has separated the beautiful intimate promise of sex to just something you do when you feel the 'rush' plus it not being only okay but necesarry to be sexually experimental including a number of techniques, partners and genders and that 'what women dont allow, men wont and cant do' and the wise advice from a listener to her radio show 'be sure before you say I do , know the man in ALL four seasons (in entirety).
she talks of traditional courtship and what it used to be. i like the way she says it " courtship is gone, "instant"-intimacy is in. 'hooking up' is the catch word of the day. that means having sex beofre you even know the person's middle name. hooking up and shacking up are not about being in love with ideals, goals,and promises historically inherent in such proximity. HOOKING UP AND SHACKING UP are about having but without true giving and when it stops giving, dont worry, just go some place else hook-up and shack up all over again and again and again. hook ups and shack ups have no depth, no promise, no attachment, no contentment, no meaning' they do not demonstrate assumed value of participants. the saddest calls comes from women and men who after years of shacking up(and maybe a baby or two) want to marry only to find that the other person enjoys this perpetual state of uncertainity. the most annoying calls come from men and women who after years of shacking up decide that this really isnt 'the one' and its time to move on"
she clearly defines courtship as a platform that provided an opportunity for men and women to develop a friendship, an understanding, a true knowledge of another. a time of flirtatiousness and chivalry it was also a time to discuss religion,work family,children,homes,philosophy and to see how respective familes could function together. courtship was about taking time to learn about another in depth to decide whether or not to become intimate."
now, this sure does take alot out of the pain when you decide to walk away, dont you think?
Better than having to deal with the pain of betrayal, feeling 'used' , consequences like abortion, unwanted kids,cheating, abuse in all its forms and etc after messing up
now these are the chapter lineups in the book.
1. Stupid Secrets
Withholding important information for fear of rejection
2. Stupid Egotism
Asking not what you can do for the relationship but only what the relationship can do for you
3. Stupid Pettiness
Making a big deal out of the small stuff
4. Stupid Power
Always trying to be in control
5. Stupid Priorities
Consuming all your time and energies with work, hobbies, errands, and chores instead of focusing on your relationship
6. Stupid Happiness
Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places to satisfy the immature need to feel good
7. Stupid Excuses
Not being accountable for bad behavior. learn to apologise!
8. Stupid Liaisons
Not letting go of negative attachments to friends and relatives who are damaging to your relationship
9. Stupid Mismatch
Seeing the red flags clearly and yet you stay around trying to put a square peg in a round hole. Not knowing when to leave and cut your losses
10. Stupid Breakups
Disconnection for all the wrong reasons
you know what relationships are hard work and alot of commitment,
let me give it to you hard and straight, so unless you are a whole individual (meaning complete in your ownself,knowing who you are not as defined by someone else or circumstance, independent, pursuing your own goals, free of past aches, pains and entanglements, sober, mature and not deperate to be loved, looked after and cared for) give relationships a big break.
dating and marriage should be less about infatuation, lust and its relatives but about the compatability you share... religion, morals,purpose mostly purpose.(when the goosebumps of passion wear out and your relationship was based on that..what next?) you should get married as single whole individuals, that is a healthy relationship ,not because you are looking for the other person to fill the emptiness or sort your dysfunctional life like some God, coz we can all do so much and we all have lives to live with or without a partner...so be Absolutely sure about your mate and if the red flags go up about someone, please dont hesitate. the good and bad news about breaking up is; good news, you are free to make a 'best' choice' a better match. bad news; the pain lasts for a while.
by the way it is possible...dont let this insta-culture decieve you it aint possible!
have a great week!
Friday, October 02, 2009
S.O.S
hey i am broke. anyone wants to sort a sister out for the weekend atleast.
well, here is my shopping list
1. toilet paper (strictly white)
2. bathing soap (strictly family size dettol gentle or ...the other antiseptic soap)
3. oranges, lemons, water melon and paw paw for juice
4. organic sugar (you need to get in touch with my pastor, hes the only one i know who knows where to get it)
5. pads!!! ( 'feathers' please!'always' is nauseating)
6. toothpaste (the whitening one with granules...closeup i think)
7. plus a tooth brush.. i like new tooth brushes...purple in colour please and twisted all over as if some kids toy...you know those toothbrushes...)
8.deodorant (vanilla fields please)
9. spray (appletinni or some victorai secret spray that is Apple or green tea... or both)
10. please throw in some chocolate
11. i need pork, its only 7500 a kilo
12. rice(organic please)
13. decaffeinated coffee and some skimmed milk
14. irish potatoes. (looove those)
15. crackers
16. tomatoes, carrots (lots of em) green pepper, chillies, avocado, cauliflower and cucumber.(all at the market)
15. and of course some pocket money.
thank you...
i will be waiting on you to call and volunteer.
thanks!
you are allllll far too kind.
well, here is my shopping list
1. toilet paper (strictly white)
2. bathing soap (strictly family size dettol gentle or ...the other antiseptic soap)
3. oranges, lemons, water melon and paw paw for juice
4. organic sugar (you need to get in touch with my pastor, hes the only one i know who knows where to get it)
5. pads!!! ( 'feathers' please!'always' is nauseating)
6. toothpaste (the whitening one with granules...closeup i think)
7. plus a tooth brush.. i like new tooth brushes...purple in colour please and twisted all over as if some kids toy...you know those toothbrushes...)
8.deodorant (vanilla fields please)
9. spray (appletinni or some victorai secret spray that is Apple or green tea... or both)
10. please throw in some chocolate
11. i need pork, its only 7500 a kilo
12. rice(organic please)
13. decaffeinated coffee and some skimmed milk
14. irish potatoes. (looove those)
15. crackers
16. tomatoes, carrots (lots of em) green pepper, chillies, avocado, cauliflower and cucumber.(all at the market)
15. and of course some pocket money.
thank you...
i will be waiting on you to call and volunteer.
thanks!
you are allllll far too kind.
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